I love you but.. i’m sorry but. The apology lies flailing. But the big butts of life, use the but. The but to push the buttons. The buttons that zap The buttons that shock. The but of the buttons used by the butts. Butter me up and tear me down with a but. A three letter word. Three letters with the strength to topple, to tumble to destroy. I love big Butts and I cannot lie. Lie . Lie with your your but. Your new bed of buts. May the pillow cradle your head. Sing you to sleep but. But what. The butt of a joke told by a but of buts. The butter melts. The butter rams the heart. Breaks the silence. Shatters the kind. The heart exploding from too much butter. Saccharine smiles. Sweet sticky toffee oozing with butter. Sweet to the tongue. Acid to the soul. Push the buttons. Start your engine. Off button On button. But But But. I love you but. Im sorry but. But to blame is a short slide in a pool of butter. Slippery floors . Watch your. step. Step on a crack break the back. The back of the truth. The backbone of love. tTrying to see through a smear of butter. Churning. Churning. Turning. Turning lies to truth with push of the button. The button. The butter the but of the butt.
Narcissistic.It rolls off the tongue like fairy dust. Crystal blue pools of reflection. Beauty. It should be beautiful. Should be shimmering. Narcissist. a cyst. A tumour that grows from the root of the root. Spilling diamond words that shred the listening. Narcissist. The cyst that destroys. The cysts that insists. That takes the light to feed its own reflection. It takes the shine It eats the good. It tears away the soul of kindness. A tumour so dark the listener fades. Diamond words cut and entice. Narcissistic enticement. Dancing in the shadows. Stealing the glimmer. Pulling the flowers to the root of the root. Reflections of nothing real reflecting the dark. A shadow that appears light. Close your ears Close your eyes. Don’t let the tumour grow. Cut it out. Take the cyst and throw it in the pool of light. Steal the shadow. me and my shadow. My shadow now in the light. The shadow gone. The cyst growing in someone else. Cut it away. The narcissistic tumour. Narcissist. Sounds like fairy dust Ashes to ashes dust to root. Pull the root. sprinkle the ashes. Narcissist. Steal the reflection. Take the power. Let them gaze alone.Ripple the pool break the spell. Narcissist
Overweight with grief. Over. Overflowing. Time to Overhaul. Kick the garbage to the curb. Curb the appetite for pain. Kick it over the line. The line that was drawn and quartered to torture and put under. Put under by saying over. Overheard . Overheard it’s over. Trying to keep the over under wraps. Trying to rollover . Turn over a new leaf. The seasons are changing. The falling of leaves. Where is my new leaf. Did I miss it as it it tumbled by, tumbling past falling over newly built walls. An over caused under the covers. Left trying to recover. Spreading the word. He’s spreading her legs. Climbing over me to get her. Move her under with familiar words. Over used, overheard pillow talk. Passed over. Overfed with meaningless words.Pigs regurgitating over used words. Overfed with lies. Overweight with grief. Overcome. He spread her legs. Spread the word. Over, over. Over and out.
Pop Pop went the champagne at the decision to marry. Pop pop. a joyful sound heralding new love pop pop. Uncorking a new life. Uncorking a promise of fidelity. Pop pop. Cheers and hugs followed. Heartfelt hugs hugs so tight you could hardly breathe . A new horizon. A new journey. Pop pop. The backfire of the vehicle carrying your love. Pop pop. A sound heard in the night by unseen ears Pop pop. The sound of the cherries of his new conquests as they lay in your bed. Pop pop. The blood of your life flowing for all to see, pop pop. the end is near. pop pop as your heart explodes in your chest with a deafening thunder. Pop pop the crack of thunder as the lightening splits your life. The separation of time pop pop. Pop pop is all it will take. A simple pop pop to rid the world of a cancer that is eating you alive. Pop pop. The alarm sounds. The new day has begun. Pop pop as you push the snooze button even as the cold reality unmercifully rips the sleep from your body. Pop pop. Time is your friend. Push that button. close your eyes. Lie in wait. pull the trigger on your new life. Pop pop.
How to begin again. where is the start. at the heart ? In the brain? The brain that has been drained of all trust. The heart that has been shattered with icy words and tangled meanings. double meanings. unclear truths. Do unclear truths become lies. Lying in a bed of lies Lying in a queensize bed made larger for lack of a king. A bed made kingsize. Kingsized lies. Kingsized pain. No king in the kingdom just traces of dust. discarded skin. Skin that flailed and lay beside me. Skin that was shed to reveal a snake. A snake that eats his prey whole with no regard for pain. A snake that has no beginning. Where to begin again . Where to start? In the brain or in the heart?
Endings are harsh. They are not new beginnings they are ends. Ended. Rear ended. I feel as though I have been rear ended with this ending. A sudden blow coming out of nowhere. Jolting me. Shocking me. Leaving my nerve endings oozing with pain.Rear ended by a rear end. An ass. A rear end rear ended me. The slap of the ending stinging my face as tears fall to the end of nothing. Tears that roll and end at the edge of my heart. My heart that has been rear ended. The end dangles with uncertainty. The ends all tangled up in what once was and what never was. An end to something that had barely begun. Rear ended. Sitting tied down by the pain. Sitting listening for an end to the end.